Rather than spending a lot of energy building up to an encounter you expect to be tense, go into it with an open mind and be a bit more kind yourself.
Okay, so maybe you and that relative argue every year when you see each other, but maybe this time you could avoid it if you don't spend days in advance practicing your arguments in your head.
Spend less of your time bathing in emotions that exhaust you.
Be gracious.
Forgive.
And if the other person won't melt the ice on their side, just give them (and you) some distance and spare yourselves the scene.
Discardia 
“Spend less of your time bathing in emotions that exhaust you.”
This is *exactly* what I needed to hear. Thank you for putting it that way.
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